Every good family has individuals taking up certain roles, though not always inscribed in stone, there are expectations that each person is meant to carry out. In some traditional homes, roles are carved in stone, with little or no flexibility, to the detriment of individual parties. In such homes, when the lady is feeling sick or immensely tired, she still has to be up and running and make sure meals are prepared. In the case of the man in such homes, even when he is having a hard time economically, he still has to provide all the money needed to run the home, even if it involves him borrowing.
These extremes are clearly not wise. In order to maintain the home, there should be a sense of role, but for harmony, there should be certain flexibility to it, where each party sees themselves as a team player. In a great team, there’s the striker whose main job is to get in the goals, but when a corner kick is done, other players are there to also get the job done. Sometimes, the wingers even get more goals than the striker, especially when they have better opportunities and the striker is heavily marked. This is how a great home is set up, where everyone helps each other to get the goal of the home to happen.
This is even further made sweeter when couples intentionally switch roles. In a team, sometimes the spotlight is more on the striker, but imagine putting him between the sticks, what do you think would happen to him? Well, many things. The concept of role switching in homes can bring many advantages to the home and strengthen your relationship in many ways.
It humbles you.
As earlier stated, it’s very easy to overestimate our usefulness. The striker in the team always has more spotlight, and this can get into his head. Take that same striker to a team without a great midfield, his efforts won’t amount to much. When you switch roles in the home, it has a way of humbling you, and you see the importance of the other. Imagine as a dad, you have to do the cleaning for a week, including packing feaces of the toddler and infant, and you aren’t used to it. You would surely be humbled thinking about your importance.
It builds empathy for the roles of the other and helps you overlook their times of weakness.
Role switching helps you to feel when your partner feels in whatever work they do.
Imagine you’re the man in traditional settings, and you are the one who normally comes home later, while your wife will always run home to come to be with the children and it’s changed for one week. You’ll be more empathetic to the fact she comes home on time, and you’ll even have to start coming home faster to come to be with her. One day my wife hung out with friends to send forth one of her superiors. As it reached 9 pm, I was already wondering why she wasn’t home, because of her safety. Of course, we already had a plan of someone driving her home, but I was still concerned nevertheless. And then a voice reminded me that I had spent lots of days out by that time and didn’t get any calls. I don’t hang out at the club like many men do, so whenever I stayed late, I had good reasons. And she also had good reason to be out by that time. But being in her shoes made me see that whatever my reasons, she wouldn’t be so comfortable having me out by that time, and I had to make more efforts to come back on time, regardless of the reason.
Having empathy towards your spouse helps you appreciate them and also lend a hand to them anytime you can because you know that they will do their roles better with your help.
It increases the gratitude for your spouse.
One of the reasons why many families break up is that we lose track of the many great things in our spouse, especially as we compare them to the little gains we notice in other people. Long-lasting successful couples make it a point of duty to always appreciate the little things, and find more little things to appreciate in their spouses. When you switch roles, you’ll see more reasons to appreciate your spouse for their roles. You’ll have a better perspective of what they do, see how it’s not easy to do, and be thankful they make your life beautiful by making it look effortless.
This will contribute so much to your relationship.
It sets a good example for your kids, to avoid gender stereotyping.
Role-switching sets a good example for your kids. In some African families, the male children grow up to see kitchen duties as belonging to the females. In some, it’s so bad that the father doesn’t even lift a finger to help in the house. He only sees his duty as the money bringer, and nothing more. This has led to rising discontent among wives, whose greatest wish is for their husbands to be more useful in the home. And their stand is so valid, seeing that most of these ladies also work and contribute to the homes.
Many of these unhelpful men learned these things from their fathers who they never saw helping out in the homes. And these fathers learnt them from men who came before them, who had the sole responsibility of providing for the home, while the women stayed home to nurse the family. While the family system has evolved, many men in these parts of Africa haven’t, and this causes great stress to their wives.
When families constantly do role switching, this helps the children to see the roles in the home as not typical to any gender, and they grow up learning how to be handy in the duties of the home. I think this will give rise to better fathers in the future.
It gives you the opportunity to spend more time with the children.
This is one of the great things that role-switching can bring to the man, or to the lady if she’s the one that isn’t always available. When you switch roles, you have the great blessing of being the one who will stay with the children. As stressful as this might be, it gives you the opportunity to bond, so that they don’t grow up losing it totally. Some busy parents’ greatest regret is that they didn’t spend more time with their children. And regardless of your job schedule, spending time with your kids is very important and non-negotiable. Doing a role switch can make you see how disconnected you have been from them, and will show you why you need to start.
Conclusion.
The best family scenario has certain roles shared so that responsibility will be taken, however, it is encouraged that role switching is so regular that roles aren’t inscribed in stones. After all, we are all humans and whatever roles exist, should be human enough to be tried by both parties.
